What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs. It doesn't matter what you call him he still won't come.

why did the chicken cross the road ask jake darby

What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

Knock knock Who is there Banana Banana who Knock knock Who's there Banana Banana who Knock knock WHO'S THERE orange ...orange who Orange you glad I'm a cop here to tell you your family died in a horrible mask murdering and didn't say bannana again?

Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

how do you stop a bus? shout FOR ALLAH!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

How do you know a French guy has been in your back yard? Your thrash cans are empty and your dog's pregnant

Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

This is a sentence. This is also a senctence.

Why did the man go bald? He had cancer

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Anywhere from 2-8, depending on the size of the vehicle.

Three men are travelling in a hot-air balloon, but it starts to go down over an uninhabitable desert. One of the men must sacrifice himself to save the other two by jumping overboard to reduce the weight in the balloon. Nobody is brave enough to volunteer, and they all die painful deaths.

Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

What's the difference of 13 and 4? 9

Why did the girl fall down the hill? Her boyfriend pushed her.

Why was the crazy person allowed to leave the asylum? The ombusman's report will be on your desk this morning minister.

When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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