Knock knock Who's there? Your neighbor. I just ran over your cat.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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knock! knock! whos there? doctor doctor who? no Doctor Brown, you have cancer

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Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

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What rhymes with popscicle and weighs at least 300 pounds? Your mom. I lied about the popsicle.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What happened when the man rubbed the magical lamp? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

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Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

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Joanna walks up to a random house, knocks on the door,"Is this where the party's at?!"

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Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

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Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the the wheels.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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I can't see my forehead

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What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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