Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jamie stegman is a masive idiot and does not have a life at all he is a tool which is true becuase no one likes him

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yeah right loser!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You know what is not cool? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock Who's There..... Guess who's coming Who's coming Me inside you !

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs. It doesn't matter what you call him he still won't come.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock Who is there Banana Banana who Knock knock Who's there Banana Banana who Knock knock WHO'S THERE orange ...orange who Orange you glad I'm a cop here to tell you your family died in a horrible mask murdering and didn't say bannana again?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the chicken cross the road ask jake darby

thumb_up thumb_down -12

This is a sentence. This is also a senctence.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you stop a bus? shout FOR ALLAH!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you know a French guy has been in your back yard? Your thrash cans are empty and your dog's pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats black and crying after 10 minute my wife's eyes when she left the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -12

David Silberberg is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the blond couldn't put a piece of meat into her mouth? Because she was vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the horse say to the other horse? Neigh

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Anywhere from 2-8, depending on the size of the vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops