What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What isn't funny? The holacost.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

EVERYBODY THUMB THIS JOKE DOWN

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Steve: Hey ask me if Im a Pelican. Bob: Are you a pelican? Steve: YES.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

An Irish priest molested many children. He's still free today

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops