Why was the women out of the kitchen? She felt the desire to relax after a day of work...

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

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Which is correct grammar: 'I hasn't a penis got' or 'I doesn't a penis has'? Answer: They're both wrong.

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

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Whats worse than getting dirt on your brand new J's Finding your girlfriend cheating on you with your Great Dane and realizing that he dose her better than you.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

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John is typing... *2 seconds later" John: Hi

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Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

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Whats funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Why did the bones cross the road? They didn't, the dogs ate them.

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What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

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A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

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what is the difference between joe diragi and jerry sandusky sabdusky only targets human little boys

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I am reading the Terms of Service, however I don't fully agree with it's contents.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

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Q: Why don't Jewish cannibals like Germans A: Because it gives them gas

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What do you call a black baby? A nigglet

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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a man walks into a bar, he is injured severely and needs medical attention stat, he is rushed to the hospital where he dies that evening

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What do you call a black priest? Father

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops