A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

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YOUIR MAMA IS SO UGLY THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO PLASTIC SURGERY TO BETTER HER APPEARENCE

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

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a dinosaur with a large clown hat is walking down the street when he is confronted by an obese monkey human with red hair. I set this up for a good pun, but the one i have is potatoes.

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four nazis are walking towards this jew. as soon as the first nazi came in arms reach of the jew he and his friends started to maliciously hug the jew.......................................and then 20 years later they killed his family.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kidnap his family.

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whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

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poop is very very yummy.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Knock, Knock ..... ..... No one is home, they've been evicted.

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Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

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What did the autistic child say to the doctor? Nothing. His condition is so severe that he is mute and may never talk for the rest of his life.

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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knock knock who's there aids

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

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Why did the asian fall over? He had a heart attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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