People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

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Why did the boys uncle stop calling him? His uncle died of cancer 3 months ago.

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Life is an elephant, get married.

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Why was the black man escorted from the bar? Because the bartender was racist.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

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What's cold and icy? Ice

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*Knock Knock *Whos there? *ADD *ADD Who? *I forgot but you wana build a fort.

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Roses are red, Violets are pretty, look at their team, Surrender at 20.

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What was so special about Anne Frank's diary? Nothing. ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What did the suicide bomber say on new years day? Happy new year.

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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What do you call a group of angry unemployed black guys? The NBA

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The Pope, Queen Elizabeth and a schoolboy are on a plane that is going to crash. It crashes and they all die instantly.

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What did the bear say to the mouse? Roar.

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what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

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What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

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why shouldn't hellen keller drive? because she's a woman

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

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Tic tac toe. You were adopted.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops