shitted on em put your numbah 2s in the air if ya did it on em

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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person 1:Dude, look at the news person 2:Yea man, its D ick Cheney person 1: what a d ick head

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A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

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kronkel spasm dizzle nork is short for: i cant believe you bought a ninja monkey to scratch your clownitis! i am randomly going to have a spasm cause i am down with that dizzle..... lets watch a show callled norks! i am pregnant with your baby ducky.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? 1 dead babies in 10 trees.

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yo mamas so fat... she's a map on call of duty

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all muslims get the fuck out of britain you fucks

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Why did the Asian Kid pass his test? He studied hard.

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A blonde walks into a bar and orders a drink. The end.

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Knock Knock! .... Knock Knock! ... There seems to be nobody at home...

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why was the 40 year old still a virgin? it doesnt know either.

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How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

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Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

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planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

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An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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What do men and women have in common? They're both respected members of society, besides women.

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What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

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What happened when 7 8 9? Six was afraid! HAHAHaha....ha.... wait, no. I told that wrong....

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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