The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

Q.If you are European in the bathroom, what are you in the kitchen? A. A woman.

Daniel Textor can suck a gooch he's such a F - A - GGGGG!! Let's beat him up at lunch.

A African American male and a Mexican male are both in a car, who is driving? Most likely the owner or the car.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I threatened to throw a fridge at it

how do you kill a blonde? hit her in the back repeatedly with a crowbar

why was the little girl crying? because she was molested

What's funnier than a comedic movie? Genocide

Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

You know what is really annoying? An annoying baby that wont stop crying while you are trying to do very important work.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

Knock, Knock Come in

You know how to torture Hellen Keller? -No. Put a plunger in the toilet.

Why doesn't the South Pole war veteran remember the name of his child? He is a penguin and could care less about naming his children. Why doesn't the penguin on the North Pole remember the name of his child? There are no penguins on the North Pole.

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

Whats better than 24? 25.

THIS IS an anti-joke.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at the creepy man across the block.

how many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? there are no babies they are all dead in my garage

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

69

Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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