Knock Knock! .... Knock Knock! ... There seems to be nobody at home...

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A blonde walks into a bar and orders a drink. The end.

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why was the 40 year old still a virgin? it doesnt know either.

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How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

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Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

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planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

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An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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What do men and women have in common? They're both respected members of society, besides women.

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What happened when 7 8 9? Six was afraid! HAHAHaha....ha.... wait, no. I told that wrong....

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What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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Usually, the bad (anti) jokes are the ones that don't make you laugh. Sometimes you laugh "with" the joke, other times, you laugh at the joke itself because it is a paragon for human failure. The jokes on this website are not exempt from that rigid stipulation. However, it should be noted that all the "jokes" on this particular website are actually hilarious because of the latter reason delineated in the above paragraph. Additionally, this joke was created by a machine and thus the originator of this work is by no means able to learn from the process of trial and error and therfore can make myriad unfunny jokes without compromise.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

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what smells worse then shit Drew White

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo.

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if i had a nickel for every time iv typed an anti joke... i would have $0.15

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How do you make a model ugly? you shoot her in the face.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I thought I was ugly But then I met you

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why did the building fall down the terrorists came back

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Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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