If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

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Why are Asians good at math? Because coincidentally many are interested in it and study a lot.

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Why does Ron Weasley have friends? He does't. He's a ginger.

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So a mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato were all walking down the street. The baby tomato was falling behind its parents. So the daddy tomato goes back, squishes the baby tomato and yells ketchup!

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why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

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Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

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Two gays walk into a bar, they are then kicked out by the homophobic owner.

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An ordinary man, much like your friend Brad from that one place where you used to hang out, was walking along one night, much like that night last week, and saw a star. He then wished upon that star...and kept walking.

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Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

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How many Asians did it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 Asians are just like every one else

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

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69

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What do you call a black priest who's name is John? Father John

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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Your mom is so stupid, that she took an IQ test and was proven mentally retarded. Her family is devastated.

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what did God say when He saw a black man? Oops I urnt one.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call it, he isn't coming. Posted By: Lram

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Whats Big, black, and in your moms underwesar? A snake that escaped from a pet store which is causing a lot of commotion in the local community. Meanwhile your mom is getting drilled by a big psycho who escaped the mental institution. JMM

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why did the dentist quit his job because he had saved up enough money for his retirement

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A man walks into a bar and says "I'd like a beer."

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There's a Korean Black person and a Mexican on a cliff who jumps first? Who Cares

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how do you make a orange juice. get orange juice and pour it in a cup.

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A military serviceman returns home from a tour of duty to find his wife in bed with another man. He feels betrayed and files for divorce, then later meets a more faithful woman with whom he has a more fulfilling relationship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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