Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

A Jew and a Nazi walk into a bar... 1 year later they are married with a baby on the way

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

What do you call a hispanic and black man flying a plane? A pilot and his co-pilot.

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

An atheist walks into a church

i can't stand cripple jokes

Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde? A: Whereas intelligent blondes are known to exist, most scientists discount the existence of Bigfoot and consider it to be a combination of folklore, misidentification, and hoax, rather than a living animal, in part because of the large numbers thought necessary to maintain a breeding population.

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

A Girl Who was very close to er grandmother got a text from her mom who was very new to texting, she thought lol meant "Lots Of Love" wel it turns out the Girl's Grandmother Passed away Sunday Morning And the Mom sent the text to the girl saying " Your Grandmother Got hit by a truck and died lol" the Girl Killed Herself that night becasue Of her mom, LESSON LEARNED< LEARN HOW TO TEXT.

How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

Have you heard the one about the Norwegian? He killed 98 people.

What's long, black, and sticky? Licorice.

What did the blind boy get for Christmas? The same toys from last year.

What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

Roses are red, Violets are pretty, look at their team, Surrender at 20.

A homosexual walks into a church

Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He got cancer.

Knock Knock Who's there? A bag of burning crap.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at the creepy man across the block.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...