How do you stop a clown from laughing? Drive an ax through its head.

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Why did the woman start crying? She didn't have woman's rights... That's right, get back in the kitchen

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Why do Chinese people have flat faces? Air bags.

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why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

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what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

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What's long, black, and sticky? Licorice.

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Suzie hates cancer, Her granny got killed by a driver that suffered from it

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Hello? Hi. Who is this? Yo mom. Your not my mom. Im the Irish man that did your mom.

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Once I asked a Chinese girl , how do I look ? . She said you Europeans all look the same .

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Duh, its red not ginger, like really really red... Not unlike my eyes, which is a bit of the reason I dye it., I also use colored contact lenses most of the time now.

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what's black and blue and red all over? nothing, you're and idiot.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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what do you call a black man on a bike? a black man on a bike.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your dog and finding a worm.

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A homosexual walks into a church

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Your mom is so hairy that she must not feel comfortable in her everyday life.

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What's worse than spending time with your girlfriend? Nothing.

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What time is it? Ask chuck Norris! Gosh!!

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What do you call a feline attempting surgery? A catastrophe, because they aren't very good surgeons.

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Roses are red Violets are blue NO SHIT EINSTEIN!

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A player under the tag "KiTcHeNGuRLxGaMerZ143" got a message after finishing a map on call of duty. "lol ur good."

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't. She's dead.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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