roses are red violets are blue your sister is pretty what happend to u??

thumb_up thumb_down +4

65% of people are starving 32% are over 190 lbs. Think about it

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your Moma so fat, she would roll down a hill.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road Because he was Pierre preasured by all you assholes Saying he already did it so now he feels like he Has to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what is worse than finding a worm in your apple being tricked by your best friend to mule drugs over the boarder and then imprisoned in a Vietnamese jail, where you will most likely will be traded for sex and other horrid act of sodomy, only to escape and work as a sex slave to earn your way home, because that is the life you know now there is no way out you will die here.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q:What happened when the black guy walked into the bar? A:He bought a drink and quietly drank it until he was finished.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

ME NAME IS JEFF

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock Who's there? Doorbell repairman

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do the Holocaust and Jeff Dunham have in common? they're both hilarious

thumb_up thumb_down +2

WHY DID THE CHICKEN FART SO LOAD TO GET EVRYYBODY ATENTION

thumb_up thumb_down +2

donald................duck for president

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you get when you cross a man and a horse? Collision

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the little girl crying? Her father has been abusing her and her mother for a year now.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What was the pirate's favorite letter W

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was it true for sure? It was on wikipedia.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does Tourettes Syndrome have in common with short term memory loss? I DON'T FREAKING REMEMBER.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats worse than school? Summer school

thumb_up thumb_down

Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops