What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

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An Asian walks out of the library.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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How did the girl die? 25.

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Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

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A little boy running with scissors he trips and falls and dies

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Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

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why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

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What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, who shat in my garden

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Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

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What do you call a Fish without the I? Astyanax mexicanus, or the Blind Cave variant of the Mexican tetra

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Why does the Muslim go to Hollywood? Because he is gifted in acting. He believes Hollywood will give him a wider range of career opportunities.

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Why was the ghost boy sad? He was attending his own funeral.

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What is different between a pile of dead infants and a red ferrari? Being the victim of a mass murder.

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Q: why was the cow in the middle of the road? A: because it was dead

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I like toast -my name is Bob and I approve of this message

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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