A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He got hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock, knock. *answers door*

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get if you cross a lin and a deer? A pile of bloody bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Muffins can't speak therefor it said nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Obama say to Hilary? Will you be my secretary of state?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why is a bad joke like a dull pencil? cuz thers no point!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

- What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? - The refrigerator doesn't fart when you take your meat out.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mom is so fat that she is at risk for type two diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Provolone

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whos gay rusty kohlen hit him up on facebook!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

rape that shit

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Chuck Norris didn't rape yo mama, yo mama raped chuck norris!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He orders a lemonade and leaves promptly

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between Al Gore and a slab of formica? Many things, most obvious being that Al Gore is a conscious being.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why was 6 afraid of 7 He raped him the other day

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops