your moms tits are so big she may have breast cancer she may have breast cancer which takes approximitely 300,000 lives per year

Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm afraid of toasters.

what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

A Christian walks in into a bar . . . mitzvah.

Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

Why couldnt the boy lick his elbows? Because he lost his arms after he was violently beaten by his drunk father with a bat.

Roses are flowers Violets are flowers

whats stupid and gay all of my friends

What's more funny than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed like a clown.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the horrors of factory farming.

Roses are red, But ravens are black, please go to China, and never come back!

Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

How did the blonde get Lost in her house? Netflix.

What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

what is worse than finding a worm in your apple being tricked by your best friend to mule drugs over the boarder and then imprisoned in a Vietnamese jail, where you will most likely will be traded for sex and other horrid act of sodomy, only to escape and work as a sex slave to earn your way home, because that is the life you know now there is no way out you will die here.

Land Rovers

Lynching Lynching is an extrajudicial execution carried out by a mob, often by hanging, but also by burning at the stake or shooting, in order to punish an alleged transgressor, or to intimidate, control, or otherwise manipulate a population of people. It is related to other means of social control that arise in communities, such as charivari, riding the rail, and tarring and feathering. Lynchings have been more frequent in times of social and economic tension, and have often been the means used by the politically dominant population to oppress social challengers. Violence in the United States against African Americans, especially in the South, rose in the aftermath of the Civil War, after slavery had been abolished and recently freed black men were given the right to vote. Violence rose even more at the end of the century, after southern white Democrats regained their political power in the South in the 1870s. States passed new constitutions or legislation which effectively disfranchised most blacks and many poor whites, established segregation of public facilities by race, and separated blacks from common public life and facilities. Nearly 3,500 African Americans were lynched in the United States between 1882 and 1968, mostly from 1882 to 1920. Lynching during the 19th century in the United States, Britain and colonies, coincided with a period of violence which denied people participation in white-dominated society on the basis of race or gender after the Emancipation Act of 1833. Today lynching is a felony in all states of the United States, defined by some codes of law as "Any act of violence inflicted by a mob upon the body of another person which results in the death of the person," with a 'mob' being defined as "the assemblage of two or more persons, without color or authority of law, for the premeditated purpose and with the premeditated intent of committing an act of violence upon the person of another." Lynching in the second degree is defined as "Any act of violence inflicted by a mob upon the body of another person and from which death does not result." To sustain a conviction for lynching, at least some evidence of premeditation must be produced, but "The common intent to do violence" may be formed before or during the assemblage."

"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

I'm off to my tank guys!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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