ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

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- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

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Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

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Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

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One white male lives in a city with all blacks. He puts up with gang violence nearly every day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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What did the redneck say to the Muslim? Nothing, he is too blinded by racial hatred and ignorance after terrorist attacks on the U.S to speak with him despite having common interests, such as baseball.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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" So let's set the world on fire..." Q: How do you do that? A: Strike a match...

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Surprise mother father (A+)

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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That was SOOOOO funny that I laughed!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops