I saw a coin one day but never picked it up. It was still there the next day and then the day after that when it was still there I saw a girl being sick on it...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The red guy lives in the red house, the green guy lives in the green house, and the blue guy lives in the blue house. Who lives in the white house? The purple guy, he just hasn't painted his house yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happened to the village that got swept by a tsunami? It was destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Dylan is a person

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He got hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is Worse than the holocaust?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Muffins can't speak therefor it said nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Obama say to Hilary? Will you be my secretary of state?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock, knock. *answers door*

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get if you cross a lin and a deer? A pile of bloody bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

- What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? - The refrigerator doesn't fart when you take your meat out.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why is a bad joke like a dull pencil? cuz thers no point!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mom is so fat that she is at risk for type two diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Provolone

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops