Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

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What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

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What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

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A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

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So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

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What do you call a middle-aged man at a preschool? A teacher.

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How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

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^that joke a piece of shit

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilots had brain damage.

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A penguin on fire

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who's best is friend is really good looking? James Cornish

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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Q: Who lives in a pinaple under the sea? A: Garry

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roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

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Nyan cat had pancakes for breakfast.

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poop is very very yummy.

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crap!!

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What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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What's better than eating baby? Nothing.

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Roses are Red Violets are dog I'm Senile Flower tastes like frog.

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

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What do you call a man with a towel on his head? A good target.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops