give one word to discribe a man who has been in combat for 10 years and finnaly gets home to his family and he chokes and dies on piece of brockly. Irony

a man walks into a bar he is promtly escorted out due to the fact that he wanted to kill the bars owner. The man got life in prison with no chance of parole. This mans name was Michael Myers.

What did the tuna say to the fan I LIKE YOUR STOOL AHAHHAHAHHAHAH

How do you get a women stop running a marathon? You tell her that you have AIDS and she should get herself checked.

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

Why are spanish people good at soccer? Hard work and a long-life time comitment

What's black and white and red all over? A bloody zebra.

If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

What is the difference between a black man and a white man? The pigment in their skin.

What is black and white and red all over? A half eaten zebra carcass.

How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

Whats your name? Bill. I have a son named Kevin.

What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

A Black man, a Mexican, and a Midget, get in a car. They drive to the county fair and get snow cones and have a really fun time.

What would make a black guy sad? His mom dying on death bed...

What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

An Irish man walks into a bar. He then sits down and enjoys his favorite drink.

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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