What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

One time I masturbated by myself

thumb_up thumb_down +22

The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

guys ive got a TANK under my house a septic tank

thumb_up thumb_down +22

how do you kill a blonde? hit her in the back repeatedly with a crowbar

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Yo mama is so depressing. That is so sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

An atheist walks into a church

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you get a black man out of KFC? Tell him to get out

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call Americas first black president? A change.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocost

thumb_up thumb_down +20

rosses are red voilets are pinkey your mams pussy is really stinky

thumb_up thumb_down +20

obama leadership

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q. What does a blonde and beer bottles have in common? A. Nothing. Blonde is a hair color and beer bottles are inanimate objects used to contain various brands of beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? 1 dead baby in 12 trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the man say to the drug dealer? I'd like some drugs

thumb_up thumb_down +20

knock knock who is there? Jehovah's Witness... IT IS the desire of Jehovah's Witnesses that you become better acquainted with them. You may have met them as neighbors and fellow employees or in other daily affairs of life. You may have seen them on the street, offering their magazines to passersby. Or you may have spoken briefly with them at your door. Actually, Jehovah's Witnesses are interested in you and your welfare. They want to be your friends and to tell you more about themselves, their beliefs, their organization, and how they feel about people and the world in which all of us live. To accomplish this, they have prepared this brochure for you. In most ways Jehovah's Witnesses are like everyone else. They have normal problems—economic, physical, emotional. They make mistakes at times, for they are not perfect, inspired, or infallible. But they try to learn from their experiences and diligently study the Bible to make needed corrections. They have made a dedication to God to do his will, and they apply themselves to fulfill this dedication. In all their activities they seek guidance from God's Word and his holy spirit.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Fine, Nero7 made sure I got to a safe place at least. My code is "Eliza", that is all, please provide me with whatever information you can regarding what happened, and while I read you are not shy of graphical detail, I ask that you keep it lightly, Nero7 meant much to me, please. -"Veronica.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding A Duck in your apple! What is worse than finding a duck in your apple? Finding a racist in your apple! Whats worse than finding a racist in your apple? DEATH

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats better than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than a dead whore? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops