A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

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Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Why can't Helen Keller hear? She's dead

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

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Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I thought I was ugly But then I met you

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There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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TEAM Together Everyone Argues More

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Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

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What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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