Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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why did the kid get a bad grade he didnt study

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Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I thought I was ugly But then I met you

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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Once upon a cross

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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what did the parapelegic (limbless) kid get for his birthday? Heart failure

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Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: That question doesn't make any sense.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops