How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

Why is a charlie horse called a charlie horse? Well there was this boy charlie and he had a horse and it died in a fire.

The 17 year old buy called his computers support number to remove a virus from his old computer, so he can gift the computer to his little cousin for his birthday. But before giving the computer to his cousin he downloaded over 120 hours of adult film onto it.

What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

i cant think of one.

A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

why did hellen keller kiss a girl? another blind date

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

A man who can't spell walks into an Arab.

If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

Why didn't Jeffrey become a butler? He did become a butler.

A horse walk into the bar, the bar tender asked, why the long face the horse unable to understand English takes a shit and walk away.

Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

knock knock. come in.

Farmers are outstanding in their fields

Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

Why'd the duck cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The duck.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to order a couple drinks, and shortly leaves after drinking them, later ending up in a fatal car accident.

ask me if im a tree! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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