What's worse then finding a finger in your Chili? Getting Mollested by a Pterodactyl.

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Police Report: A 100 year old man was beaten to death on his centennial birthday. Sources claim to say he was "getting his birthday punches"

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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When life gives you lemons make lemonade, when life gives you apples make apple juice, when life gives you cranberries make cranberrie juice and then when live gives you mangos, Eat them :)

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What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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What is worse then dropping the soap? Not being able to pick it back up.

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a sailor went to his G.P to see if he had HIV turned out he had hepititis C

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What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

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How did the blind man watch T.V? With the captions on.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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how do 2 gay guys walk... one pounces into the others butt

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What do Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder have in common? They're both well known figures who have inspired many.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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why was the boy sad? because he was raped by a clown.

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Do you know mirror has 6 letters and half of then are r's?

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your momma is so dumb.. ... because she was a slacker in high school but then turned her life around and is now a respected member of society

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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what's brown and sticky? A stick

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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Your Momma is so fat that she will most like lose a leg to diabetes which is totally preventable if she eats a well balanced diet. I hope she loses weight. Say hi to her from me please.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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