What do you have when you take the gun, badge and uniform away from a cop? A man in his underwear.

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why harry potter, if he was a wizard?

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A dog just died in my neighborhood last week. It made me sad so I vandelized a church and got put into jail. That made me even MORE sad so I vandelized the jail. Morel of the story: This wasn't grammaticly a story. A story is not 3 sentences. --

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whats worse than school...wait a minute?

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what is worse than finding a dead worm in an apple? Obama being elected a second time

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A: What time is it? B: Half past six.

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What do you do with a pickle jar full of semen? Use it for gel, because it took so long to collect it all, and you're frugal person who believes in recycling.

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Knock-knock. There is no reply. The burglar makes sure no one is home and breaks into a side window. After stealing some precious jewelry and family valuables, he exits through the same window.

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? "Where's my keys?!"

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Why was the black boy late for school? He missed the bus

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What did the pc say to the Mac? You suck

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person: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? person: A Hipster. Me: False.

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How do you make a blonde stupid as hell. Give birth to it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, due to the lack of details, there could be many reasons, such as the possibility that there was a cornfield on the other side, he got scared by a loud noise behind him and ran across the street, or just plain old curiosity, but whatever it may be, right now, we do not know the cause.

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Why does jim never go to McDonalds? his wife got shot there.

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How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

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Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

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*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A Holocaust survivor.

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I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

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How do you make a model ugly? you shoot her in the face.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I am a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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