What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

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whats purple and savage? Barney!

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How do you know your cat is gay? Other cats have buttsex with him

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her...

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"I like my women like I like my spare tires, in the trunk of my car." -Paul Alangadan

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Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes and noise and they are promptly found by the invading German soldiers. They are all shipped to Aushwitz where two of them are sent directly to the gas chambers where they are killed. The third Jew survives the Holocaust and is eventually liberated by Allied forces. He returns to his country only to find his house burnt to the ground. With no money or food, he starves to death by the side of the road and his body is eaten by various animals.

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how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

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What I have learned about the Japanese studying video games and anime (read below for more, better studies): Student at school: USING PENN TO TYPU! USING PEN TO TYPU! Teacher: No Susaki San! You must onry yell the name of attakus! You suspension get! Student: JOSH! I CHARRENGE YOU TO MORTAR KOMBAT! Teacher: KAAAAAAAAMEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEE! Student: FINAL FRAAAAAAASH! Student and teacher: Locked into energy wave combat for several hours. Teacher: Puh... Lets rather settle this with a round of Shaolin Soccer... Student: VICTOLY! Me: Well I saw a disturbing lot of Japanese people cosplay dressed as zangief... Skinny guys with fake chesthair and red hair that kept posing with their (nonexistent) muscles and yelling RED CYCRONE! Wanting me to take pictures of them... And Japanese lolitas, and blonde girls called Ganguro... Weirdest trip ever... They also kept Looking at Emanuel my (black) friend, and assumed he was my servant... Conclusion: My real trip to Japan was not so different from my above example as one might think...

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What worse than the holocaust? Dries Roelvink!

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What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

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Why did the samurai commit Sepuku? Because it is an honorable Japanese tradition.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

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What has the head of a lion, the body of a mule, and the penis of a seal? Nothing... what the hell did you think it was? Are you on drugs or something?

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Jersey Shore

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Whats hotter than the sun? Larger stars.

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knock knock Who's there? ... Hello?

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What's black, white, has green stripes and smells like eggs? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

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You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? A Boy Scout comes home from camp.

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Your dad is so bald, that a various number of people compliment him on how well shaven his head is.

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Your mom.

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How does a muslim make his parents proud? He gets good grades.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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