What is the best way break up with your significant other without hurting their feelings? It is better to get it over with quickly and decisively. Gunshot to the head should do the trick.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What happened to the boy who ditched his friends and lied to them...? His appendix exploded.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

thumb_up thumb_down -47

How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

what do u call a long dik gay guy Gay Dickerson

thumb_up thumb_down -63

What a person such as you would say. Anyway, did you notice how I started by emulating your way of typing, spelling, spacing and so on?

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What's the difference between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What's Worse Than Unripened Fruit? Crippling Depression.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

This is a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the man buy Trojan for his women? It's condom curtsey.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

thumb_up thumb_down +44

There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Did you hear about the Blonde who fell off a cliff You Have? Oh Ok, Have a nice day

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops