Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

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Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

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Did you hear about the Blonde who fell off a cliff You Have? Oh Ok, Have a nice day

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

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I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

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How do gay guys have sex with women?? They dont, they are gay.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

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Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

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Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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A Grape Soda inside a Chicken inside a Watermelon. Blackception.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The white man comes from European descent and the black man comes from an African descent. This leads to the difference in their skin color.

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Why was the man sweating? He was stuck in a burning house.

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A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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What is funny about a child with down syndrome? Nothing.

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Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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