There's was an old lady. She fell in a puddle

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Is that a threat or a promise? dragonflies

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Q: Why didn't the boy go to school? A: It was the weekend.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Billy. Billy who? Billy your next door neighbor, I need to borrow some sugar. Ok, come in.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

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knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

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Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, skip the bull$%!#, and give me head

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A young boy walks into a bar and asks for directions or a map. The bartender takes him into a backroom and gives him a map he just happened to have. The boy continues on his way and the bartender is happy that he did a good deed.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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How do you kill an Asian? Poke him with a large fork until hes dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

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Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

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Man: I'm just popping out to get cigarettes (He never returns.)

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Ask me if I'm a toaster Are you a toaster? No, I'm a tree.

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Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

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An Indian man left a 20% tip after eating at the closest restaurant to him

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Friends are a lot like snow You pee on them, they disappear

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Whats worse than being a student? Being raped.

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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Whats the similarity between your mom and me We are both men except for your mom

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Just kidding! Redheads arn't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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