Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

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whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

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- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

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What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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