Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

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What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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This is my firstever post so I wanted to make it very specialand have it really mean something, then I though fark that for a joke

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knock knock whos there not me

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Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

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My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his wife and kids.

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Hi

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Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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