What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the black guy win a gold medal in the olympics? hard work, dedication and determanation! what no one else can be bothered to do anymore because of all this new technology and stuff!! get of your arse and do something active. NOW!

thumb_up thumb_down

Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -20

This is my firstever post so I wanted to make it very specialand have it really mean something, then I though fark that for a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -152

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +37

My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hello penis

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the Koala Fall out of the tree, It was Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops