Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

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got a new boxing bag the other day its hanging from the top of my stairs its called dead seb

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

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whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

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wat?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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