ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

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national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

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You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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" So let's set the world on fire..." Q: How do you do that? A: Strike a match...

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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