A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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Q: What's sad about seeing a dead twenty year old lying at the corner of a street with a beer bottle in his hand? A: He owed me twenty bucks.

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What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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What is a wok? A wok is sumting you twow at wabbits.

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I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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Racial Equality.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

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My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

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What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops