Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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Q: what did a kid in harlem get for christmas? A: nothing he got shot

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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Minecraft.

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Why is lewis rank gay Coz he is

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What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

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What kind of cheese doEs god like? Swiss cheese because it's holy!

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? Freak

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Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

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They say those with anti-humour are the wisest.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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Why was the boy rolling down the hill? Cause he's stupid

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Why did the boy want to commit suicide? Because he didn't want to die.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everyone. - Blake Woodman

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What did the man with the knife say to the ostrich? Run or I'll stab you!

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ow

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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What's harder nailing 10 babies to 1 tree... Or nailing 1 baby to 10 trees???

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What is the square-root of pi? ?pi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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