A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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65% of people are starving 32% are over 190 lbs. Think about it

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Your mother is SO wealthy, that she should help stop the poor children in Africa from starving by donating some spare change to the Let's-Help-Stop-The-Poor-Little-African-Children-From-Starving donation center. -not a real place!!!!!

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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What did the door say to the hand? Please stop caressing me!

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roses are red violets are blue im in class

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What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

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Can you say the word "toy boat" 10 times fast? No

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a gay couple walks into a bar and get a drink

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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Whats the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? One is a specific type of sports car, and the other is a sad destruction of many young lives

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roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

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What's sad about 5 black men falling off a cliff? The master has no slaves.

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So joe diragi walks out of a gay bar...

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I want to stick ma dick in a big bowl o puddin'

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roses are red violets are blue your sister is pretty what happend to u??

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Knoc nock whos dere ronnie turiaf...... Ronnie turiaf who Dennis rodman

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What did the African want for breakfast? Ebola cereal

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What do you get if you take the head off a Koala and a Wombat and swap them around? A bloody mess and about 4 years in jail.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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Scenario- A wedding while skydiving. Problem- The groom lost his parachute. Question- Who stole it? Hint- The Maid of Honor didn't have one either, but he had one on his body when he hit the ground. Answer- The mailman, but he died of old age.

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A daring man proclaimed "Well, here goes nothing!" as his FaceBook status, and all his friends were annoyed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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