Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic with a family of four and is ruining his life. -Tag

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

Q: What did the Kool-Aid Man say when he crashed through a wall? A: "OW! That hurt!"

How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

What's worse then a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 witnessed while hiding in a closit 7 rape and kill his mother.

knock! knock! whos there? doctor doctor who? no Doctor Brown, you have cancer

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

i got angry and i was like " i really want to kick someone" ,my friend was on the ground and shes like "you can kick me" ,and i'm like "REALLY" ,then i kicked her really hard and she cried...

Roses are red, Violets are black, Why is your chest, as flat as your back

what smells worse then shit Drew White

EVERYBODY THUMB THIS JOKE DOWN

I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

Roses are Grey Violets are Grey lolololol Im a dog

Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

A guy trips a blind man.

Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

What is better than a cat? Nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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