What's the best way to look 10 pounds thinner? Lose 10 pounds

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A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

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Roses are red Cranberries are tart It sure stinks when you fart

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A women president

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say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

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Your mom is soooo fat..... She'll most likely suffer a heart attack

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What did the blonde say to the man when he asked her what time it was? 6:34 pm

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I like toast -my name is Bob and I approve of this message

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard? Neither did she.

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What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

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A viking walks into a bar, and orders 6 beers. the man working asks "why did you order so many beers?" the viking says"because one for me 6 brothers who were separated from me many years ago." then he leaves. the next morning the viking walks into the bar, and orders 5 beers.the man working says"im sorry for your loss." the viking says"what? oo no im just getting tierd of drinking!'

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HOLY SHIT BITCH!!!

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Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What do you get when you cross a muslim and a mexican? i don't know, i just thought that this would make an interesting question.

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What did the fat man with scissors do? Cut off the foreskin of your penis.

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What kind of sex do you have with twenty seven year olds any kind you want there are twenty of them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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