How do you get a Jewish man out of a pool? Ask him politely, for I'm sure he's a pleasant and reasonable fellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's a black man's favorite food? It depends.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mom is so fat that she has to wear large clothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road... He wanted to get away from all those jerks who kept asking him why he made the decisions that he did. he later committed suicide...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man name his son David? He didn't. It was his wife's choice.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is a chair?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"Sorry, our servers are being derpy right now. Try to refresh the page, or check out some of our other sites." "Couldn't find the lulz you were looking for. Try to refresh the page, or check out some of our other sites." HORSEHEAD NETWORK... YOU CANT HANDLE THE LULZ! MORAL MAN!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

we sat at the table and began to say graceme my sister, me and my mom we bowed our heads and closed our eyes and said grace we lifted our heads and opend our eyes and the food was gone my mom was gone and the chocolate in my pocket was gone (i wonder who did it lol)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What can you sit on, drink from and sleep on? A chair, a cup and a bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the dog cross the road? He saw a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's black and white and red all over? A bloody zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

the old man fell down the stairs and broke his leg, he then went to the hospital and got a cast. later that day he went home and ate soup

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you do when you have 2 eggs, but only want to use 1? I don't know. I guess you could just use 1 of them and save the other for another time?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It can never be certain, as chickens are incapable of communicating.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Provolone

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops