What did the virgin get for her birthday? Aids

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Q: What is the difference between everything and nothing? A: everything! Moral: NOTHING!

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted. You're adopt...wait what?

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

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Knock Knock Who's There? Robin Robin Who? Robin Williams Whoa, too early bro

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Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

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How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

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"Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's.

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A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

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A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

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So a man is sitting at a bar with about 20 girls sitting all around him. Amazed at this man's ability to pick up girls, another man asked him how he did. In response, the man said, "What?". The man wasn't able to hear the other man, due to the fact that there were many girls talking.

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You’re so dumb that many individuals find your intelligence inferior.

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Another cat joke. You gotta be kitten me.

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learn the ropes?

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What do you call a Fish without the I? Astyanax mexicanus, or the Blind Cave variant of the Mexican tetra

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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