Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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Why did the women call 911 on her 12 year old son? Because he was schizophrenic and attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself.

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A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Knock Knock whose there? ach ach who? bless you

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What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

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A black man, a Asian, and a Jew fell into a pit and because of a lack of water they all died.

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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What did one paper bill say to the other? Did you hear about one of us getting replaced by a woman? It's like Bruce to Caitlyn!

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i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

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What do you call a room full of lawyers? A group of legally educated professionals.

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A black guy walks into a bar... *3 hours later* He walks out...

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black man.

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Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

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What do you call a white woman that had sex with a black guy? A rape victim.

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*knock knock* Who's there? *Gorilla* Gorilla who? *Gorillas don't hoot, owls hoot*

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car> "Get in the car."

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Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

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What do you call a black man at the front of a bus? A bus driver

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A man walks into a bar and gets drunk. He then goes home and proceeds beating his many wives in a drunken fit of rage.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

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Why did Jesus and his friends get crucified? So they could sing: "Always look at the bright side of life" Moral: Monty Python?

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What do you call a black guy with a peg leg? An amputee.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops