Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

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Once upon a cross

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Why did Susie fall off the swing Because she had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there... Not Susie Why did the plane crash Susie was flying it

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69

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey lolololol Im a dog

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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What has two legs but can't walk? A quadriplegic man who lost mobility in his legs due to a horrific logging accident.

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Woman Rights

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A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

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Yes!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

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How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

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Q: What is the difference between everything and nothing? A: everything! Moral: NOTHING!

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What did the virgin get for her birthday? Aids

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted. You're adopt...wait what?

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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