Why didnt the black man run the marathon? He was in jail

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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DON"T READ THIS!

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There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

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Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

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Why did the boy cross the road? He didn't he stopped and fapped.

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Why did the black guy get kicked out of school? Because he was poor academically.

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Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

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your mom

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How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

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What did the black man say when he ate a Hershey bar? Delicious

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melon

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Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

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Q: What did the Mexican kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.

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your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

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A blind man walks into the girls bathroom.

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What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

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What's black and blue and red all over? I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

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Shut the cork up!

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Where did Susie go after an explosion? Everywhere

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wanna hear a joke. i do to

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What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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