What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Meh, I dont want it anymore! You can have it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock Who's there Your son and his vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the rat say to the snake when it ate it. Nothing for the rat is a rat and there for can not communicate through talk to the snake nor could it survive as the snake's digestive system disintegrated it in a matter of minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did the special ed kid get on his iq test? drool

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what happens when you have A.D.D.? you're EXTREMELY annoying

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Every seat wsa taken, and the back was her only option

thumb_up thumb_down +12

- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black person with white legs ? Ashy

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the thing you least expect to find on Anti-Joke? A joke with a punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

68

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what's black and blue and red all over? nothing, you're and idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck would? Probably a lot of wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hey, so I know this guy who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy's cousin who's name is Mark.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the white man jump out of the car? because the car was crashing

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is it bees travel in formation, one side is longer than the other? ... There are more bees on one side

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Black construction worker say to the Asian salesman? I want some milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Person 1: Can I write a good anti-joke? Person 2: No. Person 1: Why nut? Person 2: All the gud onez r taken. ;-; tru...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call Michael? A homosexual person who is nice, however he is still gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the chicken cross the road??? I don't know, that's why I asked you -_-

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops