How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

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Roar, roar! I am the king of the jungle! But did you know the lion would be defeated by a polar bear in a battle between the two?

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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A Jew, an Atheist, and a Muslim walk into a bar. They each drink a bottle, have a conversation, and leave.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

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So I took this girl into my room we got in bed, We got under the covers and.... We had a rather delightful game of scrabble.

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A woman walks into the kitchen to make a sandwich because she is hungry and she likes sandwiches.

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Why did Michael Jackson became a white person? Because the society hates black people

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a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

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"Doctor, Doctor I think I am a pair of curtains" The man was swiftly referred to the psychiatric ward.

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What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

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Whats the similarity between your mom and me We are both men except for your mom

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why couldn't the boy eat his oreo's? His sister ate it.

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One cold winter day in Russia, a man asked a tree if he was cold. The tree did not reply, and the man became depressed.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

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Roses are Violets, Violets are Roses, I am a dumb ass, The Hobbit.

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A boy has a penis, a girl has a vagina.

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Justin Bieber got laid

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why didnt the black man run the marathon? He was in jail

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So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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