What can you sit on, drink from and sleep on? A chair, a cup and a bed.

Why did the man follow the law? He didn't want to get arrested

Why are spanish people good at soccer? Hard work and a long-life time comitment

why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

How do you get a women stop running a marathon? You tell her that you have AIDS and she should get herself checked.

What did the tuna say to the fan I LIKE YOUR STOOL AHAHHAHAHHAHAH

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

a man walks into a bar he is promtly escorted out due to the fact that he wanted to kill the bars owner. The man got life in prison with no chance of parole. This mans name was Michael Myers.

knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

Why was the bear rushing home after work? Because he was late for dinner.

I'm innocent its all Taggart he's the one instigating.

Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

What is the difference between a firework and a dog? One is funny to blow up and the other one is pretty lights

A Black man, a Mexican, and a Midget, get in a car. They drive to the county fair and get snow cones and have a really fun time.

What would make a black guy sad? His mom dying on death bed...

Whats your name? Bill. I have a son named Kevin.

What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

uh uh uh uh .... oh i swallowed my gum

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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