What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call it, he isn't coming. Posted By: Lram

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

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A daring man once said "Here goes nothing!" Anddd nothing happened.

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What's the difference between an orange and a dead baby? One is a popular citrus fruit commonly grown in Florida, and the other is a horrible tragedy, possibly caused by miscarriage or a serial killer, who was hopefully immediately jailed for his actions.

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What's worse than eating brussel sprouts? Getting raped by a brussel sprout.

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas Nothing he didnt live that long

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

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Laugh.

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What did the blind lady say to her cat? Nothing she doesn't have a cat.

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A boy was crying. He had been abused and beaten by his parents, and thrown in his room. He was devastated, and wanted to kill himself. He tossed and turned in bed, and moaned himself to sleep. When he awoke, he felt a chill up his spine, noticing that all of his blankets had been torn off of his bed, leaving only him and his mattress. He open the window, and jumped out of his three story building. Luckily, his bedroom was on the first floor. He ran away, and found a rich family that loved him so much until a week later, a murderer came and killed everyone, including him.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: His name.

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A scientist walks into a bar. His forehead becomes swollen.

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Why do women why perfume and make up? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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What did John say to Trojan? Hi Trojan

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How do you make a dyke moan? Insert a BEAVER in it!

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Roses are red, My watch is gold now get on your knees and do as your told

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampon? A tampon doesn't cry when it's hungry or tired.

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rebecca is a hard worker

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giddy goat

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This is apparently the only way to get to the "under review" section.

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Q /why do people eat dinner? A/ because their hungry

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops