A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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What word is ten letters long and starts with gas? Gastronomy.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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Why did the girl fall down the hill? Her boyfriend pushed her.

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have you tasted chocolate flavoured slurpee? no. i haven't either

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everyone. - Blake Woodman

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A red-head, a brunette, and a blonde are playing hide-and-seek. Hide-and-seek is a fun game, so they probably had a great time.

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What happened when Sally got hit by a truck? WHO CARES CALL 911!!!!

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How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

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Why do people make antijokes? Because they can

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

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knock knock who's there doctor doctor who No

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Roses are red Violets are blue One fish two fish Red fish blue fish

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Holy fuckfarts! I did mention I am at my mothers place right? What am I saying? What am I typing? Marry me now!

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? 10 dead trashcans in 1 baby

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*knock knock* Who's there? *Gorilla* Gorilla who? *Gorillas don't hoot, owls hoot*

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what do you get when you cross an African with a Rhinoceros? A rhinoceros.

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What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

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A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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