a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

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A Jew, an Atheist, and a Muslim walk into a bar. They each drink a bottle, have a conversation, and leave.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos it wanted to.

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What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!

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Your mama is so fat... Haha, that's a good joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house! Nock. Nock. Whos there? The Chicken?

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roses are red violets are blue my cat died and i have alsheimers who are you

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What do you call a man in a wheel chair? Stephen Hawking

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A boy has a penis, a girl has a vagina.

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Roses are Violets, Violets are Roses, I am a dumb ass, The Hobbit.

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Justin Bieber got laid

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

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There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

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DON"T READ THIS!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

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Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

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Why did the black guy get kicked out of school? Because he was poor academically.

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Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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