Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

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What's worse than having amnesia? I don't remember.

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knock knock who's there no one

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

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How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna ride bikes?

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if you dont like sponge bob refrences.......... THEN **DOLPHIN NOISE*** you

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A black man, an arabic man, and a hispanic man are all in a car, who is driving? The black man.

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

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A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

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Why did Billy go into the white van? Because his parents came to pick him up from school.

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dead battery come on down

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

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why couldn't the boy eat his oreo's? His sister ate it.

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One cold winter day in Russia, a man asked a tree if he was cold. The tree did not reply, and the man became depressed.

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A woman walks into the kitchen to make a sandwich because she is hungry and she likes sandwiches.

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Why did Michael Jackson became a white person? Because the society hates black people

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a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

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See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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