your mother hates you

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Women.

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There once was a man from Nantucket But then he moved to Boston and changes his name to "man from Boston"

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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What's the shittiest thing ever ? Poop.

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A homosexual walks into a church

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Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

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What happened when a man drove up to an escort and said "want to check my bags?" The escort replied "Certainly, sir" due to the fact the escort worked at a hotel.

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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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One time I masturbated by myself

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Mitt Romney penis

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How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

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"I have some good news and some bad news, which do you want to hear first?" The good news. "There is no bad news." Then what's the bad news? "There is no bad news.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Coming home and discovering that your wife has drowned your kids in the bathtub

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Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

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What did the white doctor say to the black doctor? We both went to medical school.

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Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

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Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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Your MUM has aids :D LOL

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John Rustenburg at the dinner table

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Q: Why didn't the boy go to school? A: It was the weekend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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