What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

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What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

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knock knock whos there !!!!!.....WE.....ARE.......SPARTANSSSS.....!!!!!!

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Men's Sports

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

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My mom gave me a quarter. I tryed to spend it on bubblegum but 7-11 said no...

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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What did Hellen Keller call her dog? Kamikaze-go, because he was an Akita from Japan and that was his name.

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What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

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Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

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A man violently raped a small child. Unfortunately the child had aids and gave them to the man.

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Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

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Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

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What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

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what did the asain have for dinner? A: rice

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because Osama Bin Laden is dead.

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What do you call a group of black people? A group, you racist.

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whats a willy? -brock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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