What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? Sitting on a black man is just plain rude.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? With artillery.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mama's so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Man: I'm just popping out to get cigarettes (He never returns.)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Man 1: Your lifes a joke Man 2: Your talking to yourself Man 1 klled himself Man 2 had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Wy did the chicken?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a pen and a tiger? Believe it or not they are both not a cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats worse than finding out you have Alzheimer's? Finding out you have Alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I t was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How could you ever watch a man hit another man and say nothing? UFC is on at 9:00pm.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock Who's there? A penguin A penguin who? Just kidding, a penguin could never survive in this climate, I'm mark and was wondering if I could give you an estimate on some new siding

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

so dont touch it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What I have learned about the Japanese studying video games and anime (read below for more, better studies): Student at school: USING PENN TO TYPU! USING PEN TO TYPU! Teacher: No Susaki San! You must onry yell the name of attakus! You suspension get! Student: JOSH! I CHARRENGE YOU TO MORTAR KOMBAT! Teacher: KAAAAAAAAMEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEE! Student: FINAL FRAAAAAAASH! Student and teacher: Locked into energy wave combat for several hours. Teacher: Puh... Lets rather settle this with a round of Shaolin Soccer... Student: VICTOLY! Me: Well I saw a disturbing lot of Japanese people cosplay dressed as zangief... Skinny guys with fake chesthair and red hair that kept posing with their (nonexistent) muscles and yelling RED CYCRONE! Wanting me to take pictures of them... And Japanese lolitas, and blonde girls called Ganguro... Weirdest trip ever... They also kept Looking at Emanuel my (black) friend, and assumed he was my servant... Conclusion: My real trip to Japan was not so different from my above example as one might think...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock,knock whose there? The pizza delivery guy the pizza delivery guy who the pizza delivery guy who didnt give you your pizza

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What goes up and does not come down? Why the hell ask me.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Poem Of Love: Each time i see you i feel like i need you and i love you.. i hope you became my girl and live with me cause without you i can't live.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A boy has a penis, a girl has a vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops